(intensely sighs) – What are you watching?
– That tire commercial. – Oh the one with the cute baby? Why, you want a baby now or something? Are you serious?
– I’m serious. I’m being serious.
– [Man] Yeah so am I. Okay so according to my calculations, if we have a baby, we won’t be able to eat or go on vacation ever again.
– Okay. – We’re also going to
have to cancel cable. – What! No I’m out. Hey, hot stuff, wanna make a baby? (cheers with excitement) – Why do you have leave
your pee glasses everywhere? – It’s for my ovulation test. – Yeah, but these are
our drinking glasses. – I clean them out.
– Ugh. – Nope. Hey, sweetie. It’s time, I’m ovulating. – Alright, I’ll just make
it quick. It’s overtime. – Alright. – They have like lobster
stuff, It was pretty cool. – They have samples of lobster? – Well it was like an imitation lobster. – Was it good?
– Eh, it was Costco lobster. What are you doing? – I’m keeping ’em from falling out. Nope. Okay. I’m taking off.
– Alright babe, love you. – Love you too. Don’t jerk off. – I’m not going to jerk off. – It lowers your sperm
count, don’t jerk off. – I know. Bye.
– Bye. – Tell me to not to jerk off.
(door opens) – Forgot my phone. Are you kidding me? I’ve been gone like 25 seconds. – Come on.
– It’s the dessert round. – It’s got to be now.
– Ugh. – Really helping to
set the mood here dude. (phone chimes) – You’re playing Candy Crush? – Yeah. – Get the blue one. – Nope.
– What are we doing wrong? Ooh what about this position? – I don’t think I can bend that way. (sneezes) Hey hot stuff, you want to make a baby? (cough) (laughs excitedly) – For reals?
– For reals. – My junk it works, my
junk, my junk it works. – Okay you’re kind of
ruining the moment here. – My junk. It works!