How To Get Pregnant With Unexplained Infertility – Marisa Peer

How To Get Pregnant With Unexplained Infertility – Marisa Peer

– When I was 27, I sat
in my doctor’s office, he said, “You’ll never
be able to have a baby, “you are infertile.” I had periods twice a month when I was 17, then never had them again. (upbeat music) He said, “You won’t be
able to have children. “You must accept it, you can’t conceive, And you’ll never be able to carry a child “because of all these weird
hormones in your womb.” And even at 27 I said, “I’m
gonna stop you right there “’cause I’m not letting that in, “I don’t actually want to hear that.” And I had the foresight
I was already therapist, to understand that I was not
going to let those words in. Do many of you know that
in certain countries now they’ve banned surgeons from saying when people are in surgery,
“Oh my God, this leg is “mash potato in there, this
guy is never gonna walk again.” Or, “This cancer’s everywhere,
they’re gonna die.” And a lot of countries,
and in New Zealand, you are allowed to say anything negative while someone is in surgery, because the subconscious picks
it it up and believes it. And so they either say nothing, or they say very positive stuff. And there’s a great called Maxwell Maltz who, even in the 60s, I
think he took 40 people with damaged knees, and he
operated on three of them, and on the other 27 they made incisions, but they didn’t do any surgery at all, and they told all of them, it was amazing, and all of them said that their knees were dramatically improved. Only three of them
actually had the surgery, the others just had a little
incision, bit of a stitch, and they believed they
were completed cured because belief is such a power thing. So I knew I was not gonna even hear that, so I stopped him, and I left. And I always knew I’d have a baby. I did think it would be very hard, and it might take me a year, in fact, I actually got pregnant immediately. So now I’m pregnant, and I’m like, “wow.” And they said, “oh, yeah,
but you know, the pregnancy’s “not gonna go to full
term, you won’t be able “to carry this baby, and even if you do, “she’s gonna have the
same illness you have.” In fact, they diagnosed with an illness that I never even had,
they found out later I didn’t even have this illness. But they said to me,
“your baby’s gonna have “the same,” it was a thyroid thing, “it’s gonna have the same illness, “and you probably won’t
carry it full term. “She’ll probably spontaneously terminate.” In fact they didn’t say she, it was it. And I had to turn up and
have all these injections, and all this stuff for an illness
it turned out I never had. And then they said to
me, “well, your baby’s “only gonna weight about
three and a half pounds, “so you know, we’re
gonna have to deliver.” In fact, when I gave birth, she weighed seven and a half pounds,
and she was perfect. And I knew then, wow, don’t
listen to what doctors tell you. So got my little baby,
and I’m doing a thing for the BBC on how to
give birth under hypnosis. I’m very motivated, very invested in having my baby under hypnosis. And so I’d woken up one day, all through my pregnancy
when they kept saying, You’re gonna lose the baby,”
I’d put my hands on my tummy and say to her, “You’re
perfect, and you’re growing.” And there’s a site called visembryo, and if any of you are
working with women to have a perfect pregnancy, you
just send them to that site, ’cause every week it shows you what the baby is doing in the womb. Then you say, “Oh, this
week your little fingers “and toes are growing, and
your spinal cord is fusing, “and your heart’s doing this.” And it’s amazing. I’d worked with a client
who had two pregnancies, and each time at six months
the baby would not suck the amniotic fluid, and then
the lungs don’t develop, and then she miscarried. And on the third sessions she came to me, and we just talked to
the baby in the womb, said, “Suck the (mumbling).” We commanded it, instructed
it, and it worked. I worked with somebody once who rang me day before Christmas Eve to
say that her baby was late, and her doctor was going
away on Christmas Eve, and therefore she was
gonna have to be induced. She said, “I don’t want to be induced. “Could you hypnotise
me to go into labour?” I’m like, “Sure, come in right now.” So in she came, lay on the couch, and we talked to the baby, and we told it, we said, “Engage, you want to
have a lovely beautiful birth, “we don’t want you to have
all these inductions.” So we told the baby,
and in front of my eyes, the baby’s head moved
into the birth canal. She kinda waddled out
there, went to the hospital and had her baby that night, and her doctor went on
holiday the next day, and she went home. And she went, “I feel like
I went and bought that from “a shop because I just turned
up, had it, and went home.” (audience laughing) And I felt like that. I went to hospital quite
late, I went to sleep, and at the last minute I opened my eyes and I pushed out my baby, and I had all this film crew
there, and it was really cool. And then I had her about
about 8 o’clock at night, and I went back to the
ward, and it was like, wow, she was perfect, and a miracle. And the next day I woke up with my little baby, and the nurse was going around giving people boxes of kleenex. I’m like, “What’s that?” They went, “It’s for the
postnatal depression. “Everyone gets that.” I’m like, “Really?” They went, “Oh, yes! “On day three the ward is a
sea of weeping and wailing, “and it’s okay because it’s
the hormones, you know, “you’ve had all these
hormones with the afterbirth, “and now you’ve got no
afterbirth, no baby. “So your body’s gonna miss the hormones, “and everyone has postnatal depression.” I’m like, “Do you know what? “I actually haven’t signed for that, “I’m going to have postnatal euphoria, “in fast, I’m having it right now.” (audience laughing) “And I don’t really wanna
have postnatal depression, “but I do want to have postnatal euphoria. “And now you’ve told me this ward “is a sea of weeping and
wailing, I think I’ll go home.” I get enough of that at
work, I don’t really need to have it on my first day being a mother. So I got my little baby, and I got a taxi, and I went home. And I didn’t actually realise
that I’d given my keys to my baby, we weren’t really together, but he’d come to see her being born, it was all lovely. And I said, “Go back to my house.” Because I’d bought all
these little dresses ’cause I was sure I was
having girl, but I said, “Bring me all these
little dresses and things “because I’ve got just what
I want, a little girl.” And of course he brought me the dresses, but forgot to give me my keys
back, and I didn’t realise. So I got to my house, and I can’t get in. I though, “It doesn’t
matter, I’ve got my car keys, “my mom would love to see the baby.” So I put my little baby in the car seat, and I drove to Cambridge. And of course you have
to have a maternity nurse coming every day. And so I had to ring Cambridge and go, “Well, I’m not in London, I’m here.” They were, “Okay, we’ll
send you a maternity nurse.” I’m so sorry, a midwife, a midwife comes every day for 10 days. You all know that, don’t you, for babies? And they have to come. So I’m at my mother’s that night, I’ve left the hospital that
morning, I’m at my mother’s. The next day, ’cause my
baby was born in July, I put her in a push chair
and I took her for a walk. And I came back to my mother’s house just as the midwife turned
up, and she went, (gasps) “Why are you out?” I’m like, “Ah, ’cause
it’s a beautiful day, “and I take my baby for a walk.” She goes, “Oh, no, no, there’s
lots of germs out there, “and you really need to stay
in bed for a whole week. “You should be in bed,
and she should be in bed.” I’m like, “But I’m not ill.” “No, but you know, her immune system.” I said, “What about
people in Africa or India “that give birth in fields? “I mean, they don’t go to bed for a week. “What about people who’ve got five kids?” My friend in Scotland’s got four, she didn’t even go to
bed for half an hour, she just had them and carried on living her very great hippy life. And she’s one of the best
parents I’ve ever met. “No, no, you must go to bed for
a whole week with your baby. Go to bed now.” And I was just about to move my car ’cause my mother lives in this place where you can’t really park on the street. And she went, (gasps)
“Did you drive here?” I’m like, “Yes.” And she went, “Have you never
heard of pregnancy brain?” I’m like, “No, but I’m sure “you’re gonna tell me what it is.” She goes, “Well, when
you’ve had a baby, you know, “you can’t concentrate,
and you can’t focus, “you can’t even think straight. “I can’t believe you’ve
driven for an hour and a half on a motorway with pregnancy brain.” I’m like, “Well, luckily, “I didn’t actually know what that was.” And you know, when I was having her, I’d gone to the clinic before the birth with your birth plan, and they said, “How are you having your baby?” I said, “Hypnosis.” They went, “Are you mad? “Do you know that giving birth “is like sitting on the hob
with the gas ring switched on, it is agony, it burns.” I’m like, “Well, how do
people do it in Africa?” They’re went, “Oh, they’ve got different shaped pelvises to you.” (audience laughing) That’s why they have bigger bottoms. I’m like, “Well, what about in India then? “They don’t have big pelvises.” But I’m only telling that story because of what they told
me was available to me. The agony of sitting on a gas stove, that was apparently how you gave birth. Postnatal depression, pregnancy brain, and that
was after they told me I couldn’t have a baby in the first place. And then I remember thinking, I’m not gonna listen to any of this. And that’s when I wrote my book, “Trying to Get Pregnant and Succeeding”, ’cause I realised that that
whole negativity of saying, “Oh, you can’t possibly
have a baby at 35,” when women have had babies at
40 for hundreds and hundreds, when those pioneers
going on the waggon train across America had 18 kids, when do they think they started, at 12? When Irish women had 18 babies, and believe me, they
weren’t having them at 15 because it’s a Catholic country. They got married at maybe 17,
had a baby every 18 months in horrendous surroundings. In fact, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, a very famous poet, got pregnant in 1820 at age 44, having had
tuberculosis for 11 years, and it’s just a myth. So you’re gonna have a lot of myths, and it’s very important to
look at what it’s about. Tell you one more story
and then we’ll move on. So I’m doing all this work on pregnancy, and I found these studies
that say adoptive daughters have exactly the same
periods as their mother. If the mother walks like this, “Oh my God, “I’ve got my period,
the cramping, the agony, “I need to take to my bed for a week.” Adoptive girls tend to have
exactly the same period. And the mother’s who go,
“I’m off to play tennis now, “I’ve got my period, but who cares, “I’m not gonna cancel my tennis game,” have different periods. In the same way that
mother’s like Goldie Hawn who age really well, will have daughters who age really well. And the ones who go,
“Oh, when you get to 50 “it’s all downhill, and the forgetfulness and the grey hair,” will have daughters who age differently, and sons too. So we know in Japan, where
people are doing tai chi on the street at 85,
people age very differently to here where they sit in the chair and stare at the TV and
go, “Oh, my knees ache, “and I can’t remember
anything, and my eyesight.” So you become what you believe.

20 thoughts on “How To Get Pregnant With Unexplained Infertility – Marisa Peer

  1. Hello im hurt from my childhood trauma anf still living home for now.. I want to guy attention cuz of it .. I blame myslef and no one helps me and just tell me work and get married.

  2. Hi Marisa , when i have my period the cramping is very bad painful to the point i can't walk for like 2 or 3 days. so i think with hypnosis i can have an easy period !

  3. Ms. Marisa I would like to clarify in India we get good pre and post natal care & treatment.
    Only in few remote pockets which are rural it could be challenging earlier.
    But not as you're mentioning.
    We dont live a primitive life in India

  4. The statement about African women's pelvises is false. It was meant to be dismissive and discouraging of the self-fulfilling prophecy that you created. They don't know what they're talking about. So glad you rejected that. There's been a history of ignoring Black women's pain as well as capacity for survival. Glad you have the joy of being a Mum in the manner you chose. It's also powerful that you were able to set aside what your own Mum was saying. Wishing you continued joy. I look forward to being a client when I can afford it. I expect it to be amazing and to effect a different, healthy paradigm by which to live. Thanks for your work.

  5. Does mediation or hypnosis help periods become regular? I'm currently 4 months without one. Im having around 4 or 5 a year.
    I have to go and have a blood test and my husband has to go for testing too.
    But I think it's just because I'm stressed and anxious a lot, and because we've been trying for years that makes me more stressed and everyone around me has children or is pregnant.

  6. I seriously needed to see this video! I was diagnosed two years ago with premature ovarian failure and it's put me into a dark depression and is all I can think about. I have been terrified to think of anything even REMOTELY positive. Where can I buy your infertility book please Marisa?

  7. I just heard from the gynecologists that I might have endometriosis
    I bought your book trying to get pregnant was already reading it
    I find it difficult to question and get rid of the beliefs

  8. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I love when you speak about and educate masses about the power of "belief systems". Marisa, you're brilliant and an absolute treat to watch & hear. I'm a Life Coach, Energy Healer & a Holistic Health Coach and I've drawn a lot of inspiration from your body of work. xx

  9. My dh and I have been always dreaming about children. We've been ttcing for years. Then I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We had multiple failed fertility treatments. Later we were advised to use donor eggs. It was a tough decision. I had so many doubts… I guess many women have them when they try to accept the idea of using eggs of another woman. Now I can say I have no regrets! We couldn't afford to have de ivf at home country. So we found a clinic abroad and went there. I always hesitated to go to a different country. And when my dh said we're going to Ukraine, I was kinda shocked. But the whole journey was so smooth. Our clinic arranged an airport pickup which was so helpful as we were dropped straight to the clinic. We had no issues with the language barrier as our coordinator and other staff spoke English very well. The treatment was done very quickly as I requested and no time was wasted. I'm pregnant and we are expecting our first baby!

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