How To Deliver a Baby At Work

How To Deliver a Baby At Work


♪ ♪ Hi Depotec employees. By now you’ve learned
the phone system, and how
to fax memos like it’s 1999. [ giggling ]
Your next corporate training video
is about working motherhood. But first, we’re gonna
need some help. Say hi to Amy, one of our
top L.A. office managers. Hi. I’m excited to help out. As you may know,
the United States has
no guaranteed policy of paid maternity leave. But here at Depotec,
we respect working mothers, and also want to
save a little money.
[ chuckles ] Which is why we train
our employees to deliver
one another’s babies. Wow!
What a great company policy. It is. Because remember,
no paid maternity leave means
that a hospital birth counts as break time. Now Amy, why don’t you
hop up on that desk,
and pretend to be in labor. [ grunting, breathing heavily ] [ glass clanks, water splashes ]
Ooh. Sorry. Made it. Now remember employees,
before you help another
employee give birth, you got to make sure they sign the
Infant Consent Liability forms. And moms, please,
try to keep the noise
to a minimum. Some people
have calls to be on. Now let’s talk about
your water breaking. But wait, Dan,
isn’t that unsanitary? It is. So mothers, please do your
best to keep your bodily fluid inside your body
at all times. We’ve got to keep
this office clean. No problem… buddy. Now let’s talk
umbilical cords. Using company property
to cut the umbilical cord
is an absolute no-no. These scissors
are useless now. And remember,
if you’re lucky enough to give
birth in front of Brian from finance, you can thank the
government for the policy that
made that possible. ♪ ♪

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