Daddy Clay: Hey and welcome to a very special
episode of Daditude. I’m Daddy Clay. Daddy Brad: And I’m Daddy Brad.
Daddy Clay: This week Daditude is brought to you by Baby Bjorn and their new Babysitter
Balance. Play, rest, sleep-Babysitter Balance. Daddy Brad: You may be asking yourself why
are these two yahoos up there I want to see Owen. Well Owen has popped out a little child.
Actually his wife did. Daddy Clay: We know things have been tough
on him. We had a very interesting day with Owen the other day. Actually for a moment
we thought it wasn’t going to be with Owen. We had maybe the scariest days ever in the
history of the Dad Labs world headquarters. I know that I have probably clued you in or
you probably realize that Dad Labs world headquarters is about as fancy and clean as the average
men’s room. So it is not exactly the most baby friendly place on earth. But recently
we played host to a large number of babies. Daddy Brad: 40.
Daddy Clay: And it seemed lie- Daddy Brad: And their moms.
Daddy Clay: It seemed like more than that. You see at Dad Labs, we’ve got a book coming
out, it’s coming out Father’s Day 2009. Dad Labs Guide to Fatherhood: Pregnancy and
the First Year, and that is coming out 2009. And our publisher called us up and said “We
want a really cool cover.” And we’ve got a great idea for the cover. It’s all of
you guys in your Dad Labs lab coats standing in a sea of babies, all covered up in babies.
Daddy Brad: Babies everywhere, wall to wall babies.
Daddy Clay: And you know we said well that sounds really goo and Troy has all of this
free time. He’s mostly just sitting around the office reading technical manuals on cameras.
So we nudged him and woke him up and said “Hey Troy would you mind taking on this
project?” He said sure. Daddy Brad: Wrangle some babies Troy.
Daddy Clay: I’ve got nothing else to do. Daddy Brad: Wrangle some babies, he wrangled
them. Daddy Clay: Even into my nap schedule.
Daddy Brad: We were wall to wall (unintelligible) Daddy Clay: And all we had to offer them was
a little bit of baby bait. He had some bibs from Baby Bjorn. Some cups and plates from
Baby Bjorn and some great sunglasses from Baby Bans. And that is what we had to offer
and we thought nobody is going to come so we asked for twice as many as we needed.
Daddy Brad: Droves, babies everywhere. Daddy Clay: Crawling around this place.
Daddy Brad: Everywhere I mean- Daddy Clay: It was horrifying.
Daddy Brad: Crying. Screaming. Daddy Clay: Everywhere you looked it was like
babies eating dust bunnies. Daddy Brad: Everywhere.
Daddy Clay: Like gnawing on the old Slim Jims that we have in the Dad Labs commissary.
Daddy Brad: We’re not OSHA around here. Daddy Clay: Drinking our beer, the babies.
And it was just horrifying. It was so scary, they were everywhere.
Daddy Brad: And they were screaming. Daddy Clay: And so we come in here and we
are getting ready for the big cover shoot, no Owen,
Daddy Brad: Where is the little hippie? Daddy Clay: No Owen because his wife had given
birth like the night before. Like Owen is not going to make the shoot. That’s too
bad he is not going to be on the cover. You know maybe we can put a little, we can put
his little furry orange Welsh self on the back.
Daddy Brad: A little stick drawing or something. Daddy Clay: But he didn’t make the shoot
and we were all depressed about that. But all the kids, all the babies, the moms go
into the studio. It’s just me and Brad and Troy and you know so they’ve got a baby
wrangler and the baby wrangler starts loading us up with babies. Cute, cute babies.
Daddy Brad: Cute, dude- Daddy Clay: One big ol’baby.
Daddy Brad: Dude he was like 75 pounds, huge. Daddy Clay: But he was so cute.
Daddy Brad: He was huge. Daddy Clay: And by the time that they start
loading Troy up with babies my babies start to cry.
Daddy Brad: Yeah because look at him wouldn’t you cry?
Daddy Clay: I don’t know why. And pretty soon it infectious. And this one cries, this
one cries, yours starts to cry. Then Troy is pinching his and they start to cry. And
then pretty soon it was like-and then all the babies that were in the studio in here
just watching started to cry. And suddenly there are 20 screaming babies and you cannot
imagine what that does to your body and soul. Daddy Brad: It’s got to be the most powerful
sound on earth. Daddy Clay: An infant’s cry resonates with
a man’s very testosterone and it says to him “Run for the hills!”
Daddy Brad: It’s not Vivaldi. Daddy Clay: It’s all our fault that we are
making these babies cry and there are supposed to be about fatherhood.
Daddy Brad: And the mommas are nervous. Daddy Clay: And the mommas are nervous but
everybody is laughing because it is so uncomfortable because you have 20 screaming babies and the
photographer is screaming “Look Confident!” How can you look confident where there are
20 screaming babies? And then finally we get the photograph and the moms run over and rip
the babies out of our arms and are like oh you horrible men. And everybody is sort of
like trying to calm their babies down. And at that moment Owen walks in.
Daddy Brad: He what’s the score huh? Daddy Brad: Yeah little hippy.
Daddy Brad: Hey guys. Daddy Clay: Hey.
Daddy Brad: How are ya doing? Daddy Clay: I want to be on the cover of the
book. Daddy Brad: Am I too late?
Daddy Clay: Hey can I have the cover of the book?
Daddy Brad: Can I get in? I wrote something? Daddy Clay: That was my Owen. And we said
No! I don’t care that you didn’t get in any sleep in the last 48 hours and that you
have a new baby at home. I don’t care. Daddy Brad: Timelines and timelines, meeting
deadlines. Daddy Clay: So he cried and then he punched
Troy. Daddy Brad: Yeah a sucker punch the –
Daddy Clay: And he got him in the balls too because he is a little guy and his arms-
Daddy Brad: Troy had on a cup so everything is okay.
Daddy Clay: He reaches and so we had to do it again. And so again out there in front
of the photographer they all start6 to scream. There was this totally-it was total madness.
Daddy Brad: I had to hold the 130 pound kid in one arm for 10 minutes.
Daddy Clay: So you better damn well go buy that book.
Daddy Brad: Buy two of them, Daddy Clay: Because you know what we went
through. Daddy Brad: Yeah screaming babies
Daddy Clay: To get that picture. Daddy Brad: Yeah and I didn’t even get to
get a haircut, Daddy Clay: That’s all for us this week
on Daditude. So I guess you know what you are going to be doing father’s Day 2009.
Daddy Brad: Yeah buying a book, two books. Send one to your Grandma.
Daddy Clay: And Owen please get back here so we can get off your show.
Daddy Brad: Yeah I think your time is up my boy, four days.
Daddy Clay: See ya next time.