Baby Shower – SNL

Baby Shower – SNL


>>OH, BURP CLOTHS WITH LITTLE
DUCKIES ON THEM. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THROWING
ME THE BABY SHOWER. I FEEL SO WELCOMED TO THE
NEIGHBORHOOD.>>OF COURSE.
SO WHEN ARE YOU BECOMING A MOM.>>MY DUE DATE IS JULY 14.
>>NO, THAT’S WHEN YOU ARE HAVING A CHILD.
WHEN YOU ARE BECOMING A TRUE MOTHER.
YOU KNOW WHEN ARE YOU?>>WHEN AM I WHAT?
>>SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GETTING THE CUT?
>>THE CUT?>>YES.
>>THE CUT!>>YOU KNOW, THE HAIRCUT THAT
ALL MOMS HAVE.>>LIKE THE SOFT WATER FALL IN
THE FRONT. BUT KNIVES IN THE BACK.
>>THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO A FORMAL EVENT BUT
ON THE WAY YOU ARE STRUCK BY LIGHTNING.
>>THE SCARED DINOSAUR FROM JURASIC PARK.
>>DON’T THINK THAT LOOK IS FOR ME?
>>THAT’S WHAT WE ALL THOUGHT. ONE DAY, SOMETHING WILL BREAK
INSIDE YOU AND YOU KNOW THE TIME HAS COME TO GET CUT.
>>WHAT WAS IT FOR YOU?>>WELL, I WAS GETTING READY TO
LEAVE A WEDDING. ALL OF A SUDDEN I THOUGHT I
NEED TO TAKE THE CENTERPIECE. I CANNOT LEAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT
THE CENTERPIECE.>>WAS IT AT THE END OF THE
RECEPTION?>>NO, I LEFT EARLY BECAUSE I
DON’T LIKE MUSIC. I TOOK THE CENTERPIECE AND I
KNEW IT WAS TIME FOR THE CUT. BUT THE CUT FIND YOU IN
DIFFERENT WAYS. NOW FOR ME, IT WAS MUCH MORE
ABRUPT. I COMPLETELY BLACKED OUT.
CAME TO IN THE PARKING LOT OF A MARSHALL’S/HOME GOODS.
NOW IN MY HANDS WAS A RUSTIC SIGN THAT JUST SAID THE WORD
“HOME.” THE NEXT DAY I GOT THE CUT.
>>FOR ME IT WAS WHEN I BOUGHT A BIG GLASS URN, HUGE,
TAKES UP MY KITCHEN ISLAND. WHAT DID I PUT IN IT?
ONE CANDLE.>>WHEN DO YOU LIGHT IT?
>>NEVER!>>SO YOU ARE TELLING ME THERE
IS GOING TO BE SOME SORT OF MAGICAL MOMENT.
SUDDENLY I AM GOING TO WANT A HAIRCUT THAT IS CURTAINS IN THE
FRONT, IRON THRONE IN THE BACK?>>NO ONE WANTS THE CUT.
THE CUT CHOOSES YOU. FOR ME IT HAPPENED WHEN I
STEPPED INTO MY BATHROOM I CLOSED MY EYES AND HEARD THE
OCEAN. AND IN THAT MOMENT I KNEW MY
BATHROOM MUST BE AN OCEAN. I NEED LIGHTHOUSES.
I NEED SEASHELLS. I NEED SOAP IN THE SHAPE OF A
FLIP-FLOP.>>WHY DO YOU NEED SOAP IN THE
SHAPE OF A FLIP-FLOP?>>HA-HA-HA.
SILLY GIRL, SHE SEEKS CLARITY ONLY THE CUT CAN PROVIDE.
BUT, SOON YOU WILL KNOW MANY THINGS.
LIKE BATHROOMS ARE OCEANS, BUT THE KITCHEN IS A FARM.
>>UH-HUH.>>YES, A KITCHEN ITS WATERING
CANS, PICKET FENCES, PIG IN A CHEF’S HAT.
>>THE CUT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE.
MY DOCTOR TOLD ME I COULDN’T GET PREGNANT UNLESS I HAVE SEX
WITH MY HUSBAND. WHICH I WOULD NEVER HAVE AND
NEVER WILL. AND INSTEAD I JUST GOT THE CUT.
AND THEN I LOOKED DOWN AND BOOM. I’M 7 MONTHS PREGNANT.
>>THERE IS NO WAY THAT THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.
>>REALLY? THEN ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION.
WHY ARE YOU FOLDING THAT BAG SO CAREFULLY.
>>SO I CAN SAVE IT FOR LATER. IT IS JUST SUCH A NICE BAG.
>>WE KNOW. WE GIVE THEM TO EACH OTHER.
I GOT THAT BAG FROM CLAIRE.>>I GOT THAT BAG FROM HEATHER.
>>I GOT IT FROM BARBARA.>>THERE ARE ONLY SEVEN BAGS IN
THIS ENTIRE COUNTY. KIND OF LIKE US, WOMEN WITH GOOD
TASTE HAVE THE FORESIGHT TO SAVE.
>>HI, MOM.>>HI, SWEETIE.
>>SORRY TO INTERRUPT. I’M GOING TO GET SOMETHING TO
EAT.>>I’LL FIX YOU A PLATE.
>>IT’S ALL RIGHT. I WILL GET IT MYSELF.
>>”FIX YOU A PLATE?” HE’S NOT EVEN MY SON.
I DIDN’T TRUST HIM TO PUT THINGS ON A PLATE AND MICROWAVE IT.
I HAD TO DO IT FOR HIM.>>A CUT IS UPON US.
>>NO! NO.
I WILL NEVER BE LOOK YOU. I WILL NEVER HAVE A CHUNKY
HIGHLIGHT.>>WHAT IS IN MOTION, CANNOT BE
UNDONE. SOON YOU WILL HAVE THE CUT.
AND ALL OF YOUR TANK TOPS WILL SPROUT CAP SLEEVES, QUOTES WILL
BE INSPIRATIONAL AND MAGNETS HILARIOUS.
YOU WILL GO TO THE BEACH BUT ONLY SHOP.
THE CUT. THE CUT.
THE CUT.>>WELCOME, SISTER!
>>AHHHH! OH, MY GOD.
I LOVE THIS. I LOVE IT!
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ROOM NEEDS — A BIG BOWL OF FAKE
FRUIT.>>OOH, YES.
>>YEAH. OOH.
>>HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY FROM “SNL.”

100 thoughts on “Baby Shower – SNL

  1. I am questioning how now I realized it's freaking Brie Larson even though I've watched this so many times.

  2. What, are you gonna get another haircut?

    This is what captain marvel was doing in those five years.

  3. Why can’t SNL actors remember their lines? Like that can’t even look in the direction of the person they are talking to while reading the lines. It’s so awful.

  4. Only part of this phenomenon that happened to me is saving gift bags.
    It's cheap. I spend the money I save on better hair care products, so I can avoid "the cut".😂
    Edit:
    Oh dang.
    My bathroom IS an ocean.
    <screams in fear> 😱

  5. Ok after seeing this I think I'm kind of glad I went the route of crazy cat lady in training. You remain in training until you have more than 2 cats.

  6. Lol @ a pig in a chef's hat . I have one in my kitchen! My mom has decorated our house stereotypically the same way mentioned by the ladies

  7. Hey im a mom ive been thinking of the cut ive always had long hair and i just thought hey i dnt have time for taking care of my hair so let me cut it short

  8. Please tell me ehy MadTV is over and SNL is still here?

    The only thing that made me laugh was 7 bags in the whole county.

  9. I work at a Marshals Homegoods and I clan confirm that 95% of the people that come in look just like this

  10. i hate how the other actors/actresses stare at the script off stage when somebody else is reading. It's so obvious.

  11. Brie Larson 2016: I’ll never be like you! I’ll never have a chunky highlight!
    Brie Larson 2019: has “let me speak to the manager” cut

  12. All husbands now understands…

    My mother had that cut when she turned 40. Its sole purpose is to not mess with her morning routine of going to the market, doing the dishes or the laundry and of course to just use her fingers instead of looking for a comb.
    Saved her a lot of time.😂

  13. Nope. I only save bags. And my mom didn't teach me that because she wraps, which I have never been able to do

  14. As a person born July 14 🙋🏽‍♀️ and works at Marshalls 😭 . I’ll take this video as a sign that that blonde woman is my real birth mother 😨👩🏼

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